Monday, 10 August 2009

Sharing, how hard can it be?

This question really has never bother my mind. Until I really have to put it into practice.

As a parent, I always "enforce" my son to share his toys with someone else... sometimes even when he showing resistance I still "strongly suggest" him to share his toys. It might be easy for us adults, to tell our children that they "must share" their toys whether they like it or not. Until I was put on his shoes to understand how hard is it actually to share.

I always look into myself as person who does not attach easily with my belongings.
I don't care when I have to throw away half of my wardrobe, I don't care whether I have pots/pans or do I have to let go of them and buy another one. I always give away my son clothes as soon as it run small, give away all the babies and pregnancy clothes as soon as I can find someone else to use it.
Basically, I don't have this "sentimental" value on any of my stuff (and my terrible absent-minded-ness gives even a better excuse not to keep stuff for too long).

I am also consider myself generally a socialable person.
I get along with many kinds of people even to the point whereby I have to share a house with them (yes, I share a house with 2 other people for 2 years even after I am married). Therefore, I was surprised to find out that when our Jacob and Grace were here (a couple with 2 little children) for a month, it was rather though for me and my husband to get used to sharing a place with someone else.

So, what's so hard about sharing?
I don't know what's ultimate root cause, but I've seen so many people have a hard time sharing a long term stay with in laws or friends.

Someone told me that 2 family certainly have different habits, which is true. Grace is clean and organised person while I am a neat person. She liked to organised stuff to it's place and take time to do a really good cleaning job, while me... I like things look neat on the outside, no clutter on the living room or dining room (especially when I just came back from work), even though this might mean to chuck them all into the cupboard to hide the mess (so thank to Grace for tidying them all up!).

On the other hand, my husband is an efficient man, he wanted to do things on time and well planned ahead of time, which I've learned not the way Jacob is. My husband will turn off everything when it's not used and he never leave anything even the socket on standby mode. He quickly turn on/off the boiler, internet, etc as needed. We only did 1 load of clothes washing every week, and he can wash the dish with a minimum amount of water. This probably the impact of paying the utility bill (haha, I had never seen the numbers, he is!).
While Jacob, I learned he is a gracious and thoughtful man. No matter how tired he is, he took time to cook us (every night!) probably the best meal we have this year (yes, I had never seen 3 dish in my table at once!). Grace on the other is a very health conscious person, which sometimes make me feel guilty that I love excessive MSG and chocolate still.

If I come to think about it again I wouldn't say it is hard to share, but it's harder to say goodbye. They certainly has left a big hole in our heart. The house never been so warm with all the late night chat, the fellowship around the dinner table, the prayers we made together, everything were so sweet. I am glad that all of us still remain a good friends despite all the differences.
John 13 : 34-35 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love
one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall
all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
1 John 4: 11-12 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to
love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God
dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.

How about you?
Are you sharing your time, money and belongings with others you called "dear" or "friends"? When you told your little one to share his toys have you share what is yours?


Ayie said...

sharing indeed is a very complex thing. Simple as it may seem but the deep meaning and putting it in action gives it a whole lot more meaning. Right now me and my husband, we are sharing our place with his family. $ of them, mom, dad, bro and sis. They just migrated back here in US and it's not that easy too. The differences and ways and most esp his parents feeling more dominant over some matters. It's not easy coz we have been living along together and we have our house rules then all of a sudden people come in carrying their own ways.

Char said...

I've been teaching sharing today with the niece

Carrot n Veg Thought said...

Hi, glad to know that Grace and Jacob are doing well in England and both of you are enjoying their company. Don't expect any return, then, you find that it is always easy to share. Hope you enjoying all your sharing.

J.H said...

@Ayie : wow, that sure is tough. Pray that you have all the perseverance, loving kindness and patience in the world :-)

@Char : that's sweet!

@Carrot & Veg : Sometimes it's not always about "return", it's more like adjusting to other way of life, other opinion, and giving up your preference and habits. I hope everything went smoothly and in a month time they'll be back here in England, yippeee!!!

Stardust said...

Hey babe, sharing is one big art in my opinion. To be frank, I'm not very open, and I draw lines very clearly. I like sharing, but I don't believe that sharing is nice anymore if it hurts or rouse negative feelings.

I reckoned what you had is some fine and nice sharing with your friends. And that's great. =)

hiPPo said...

sharing has always been a part of our lives but itz tough when we have to face with other factors ya? hee.. i m teaching my girl to SHARE too..

Ayie said...

thansk so much for all your kind words JH

J.H said...

@Stardust : that's right. I think honesty is important when it comes to sharing.

@hippo : I guess we all human have that "selfishness" within us no matter what

@Ayie : no problem :-)