Monday, 14 September 2009

Biblical knowledge, according to children

Too many sadness and complaint is no good. I decided it is time for a LAUGH!!!

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* In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the
world, so he took the Sabbath off.

* Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called
Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

* Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

* The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with
the unsympathetic Genitals.

* Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel
like Delilah.

* Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread
which is bread without any ingredients.

* The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses
went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

* The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

* Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the
hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

* The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand
still and he obeyed him.

* David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. he fought with the
Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

* Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

* When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the
Magna Carta.

* When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in
the manager.

* Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

* Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before
they do one to you.
He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."

* It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the
tombstone off the entrance.

* The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles
were the wives of the apostles.

* One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

* St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is
another name for marriage.

* Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

5 comments:

Jungle Mom said...

Too funny! I may have to borrow some of these one day!

Ayie said...

You don't feel like being serious this time huh!?

funny =)

happy monday!!

Cher said...

lol! i like this! thanks for sharing.. :)

Stardust said...

300 wives and 700 porcupines. Wahahahahha

J.H said...

glad everyone has a good laugh!