Saturday, 30 October 2010

Understanding and trust

Nowadays, eversince my husband is gone (to work elsewhere in the world), I often find myself in a difficult situation to describe.

It often goes like "Aw, it must be hard for you", "Surely you miss him so much!" to "Oh, you must be terribly lonely."

While there is certain degree of truth in it, I have to say that his absence does not make my life equation become negative at all.
I am still happy.
I am still content.
There is no doubt I miss him, and there is something that is hard to do since he has been away. And I can't deny there are times when I do feel lonely - nevermind my office is always crowded, tons of friends at church, and don't forget weekend visitors.

But I do feel a difference.

Years ago, when we just got engage and later married. I never would be able to comprehend how can I live without him even just for a day. I often question this to myself : who will accompany me for dinner? will I be all alone at home? who am I going to talk to about my day at work? what if I am sick? will I feel lonely?
I am dreading him sent overseas even just for one short week, leave it alone the whole year.

But 7 years of marriage has mold me (and him) to a different person. Not just better person - but better half.

When I read this blog, I finally understood, the ingredient that often disregarded from relationship equation. This man and his family have been through a lot when their son diagnosed with terminal cancer. I find his word really speak to what is missing in a lot of marriage today.

We have been married 9 years today and this morning I
had to laugh when reading the anniversary cards that we had given to one
another. The flowery language of newlywed cards has changed and words like
sacrifice, struggle, and hardship have weaved their way into the cards we buy
one another.

It is of no great surprise that having a family creates a
whole new set of responsibilities and opportunities for things to go wrong.
However, it is interesting to see how in creating a family your children, these
struggles, and the obstacles you have to overcome in life now define your

The flowery language of love found in a newlyweds card is like
a resume of a newly graduated college student - you have to fill the page with
something - so you dig deep for words to fill that lack of experience. After 9
years and lots of adversity you are no longer lacking in experience and you can
look to one another and with a simple nod or smile be able to communicate what a
million words could never say.

Understanding and trust built through hardship and obstacles.
Something that only time can tell.

That's what makes my husband absence, thousands miles away, gapped with time difference - yet still make his presence near to my heart.


Aubrey said...

very true words! My husband and I have been married 14 years, been through many struggles ect. but they brought us closer and we don't feel we have to communicate everything verbally, we can sense a lot of things in each other and we respond to that and I couldn't imagine having such a close relationship any other way. I wish more couples would stick it out thru the hard times and see how better their marriage can actually become! Great post!

AG said...

Totally 100% agree =) we're gg to be in a same boat again soon, wakakak :p